And just like that the six weeks of summer have come to an end.
It’s been a hot summer here in London, with plenty of iced drinks, fans and ice-creams to see us through. It’s also meant swapping out hot dinners for snack trays and salads, slipping into summer sandals and making the most of trips to air-conditioned malls and stores. Alongside the heat, managing the juggle of work and holiday entertainment has been an art that we have been trying to perfect since our first was born, and adding to this the need for moments of quiet so I could continue with PhD study has meant a lot more thought was needed to make this work.
My husband and I both work full-time, so to ensure at least one parent was at home every single day of the week we have had to combine flexible working, annual leave and opting for different weekends – his weekend is on two weekdays, and mine remains as Saturday and Sunday.
Last autumn I adjusted my hours to compress five days in four, which meant I had an additional day off in the week too. During term-time this was used as a PhD day, and was very much needed even as a part-time student, but this also meant that during the school holidays I had an extra day added to my weekend. When planning for the summer extending our weekends by a day each meant we were able to cover childcare for the full seven days.
This basic structure to managing school holidays has meant that parenting and housework doesn’t fall only on one parent, and that both of us get some time for work, some one-on-one time with the children and some time for ourselves too.
It’s taken four years, but this summer we also had moments of quiet appear at unexpected times during the week, as the children learned to play together for longer than ten minutes without arguing…well, sort of 😅
With the longer days, came later bedtimes, as it simply wasn’t night enough at 7pm, so our normal 6.30am mornings slowly shifted to the more manageable 7.30am, rewarding us with slower morning starts or time to plan the days tasks and prepare for work and study. On my non-work and non-PhD days, I used this morning hour for drafting blog posts and journalling, or simply staying in bed until the calls for breakfast came 😴
As I also needed to make time for PhD reading and writing, especially with an upgrade due soon, I used annual leave to reduce my work to only one day a week. I also signed up for two online weekly writing retreats, giving me three hours focussed PhD time, and a structure that helped me reach my writing goals, while saving me from having to self-manage or self-motivate during the intense heatwave!
Outside of the scheduled work and PhD days, we abandoned all other routines and structure. This meant the days were varied and the flexibility meant we could decide what to do at short notice, and change plans as and when it was needed. We also didn’t fill up the days with lots of parent-led or outdoor activities and events, and gave them (and us) the space to slow down and pause, reminding me of the long joyful summers of the 90’s, when the holidays never seemed to end.
It’s been an interesting summer this year, as the balance between work, PhD and life has shifted and it’s shown that finding peace of mind often comes from not trying to do it all at once. I’ve wanted to change my work/life balance for quite some time now, and although flexible working helped somewhat in adjusting that balance, it didn’t quite go far enough. So before the end of the last academic year, and after a lot of number crunching, I requested a reduction in hours and have now transitioned to part-time work.
The slower pace of the summer, the focussed reduced time for work and research, and the breaks in between, have all reaffirmed this decision, and now as the new academic year has begun, a feeling of lightness and mental freedom has also arrived.
